Some days I still find myself crying over a video of a functional Father – Daughter relationship. He is the only biological parent I have left. The last thing I want is for us to drift apart. But he has obviously made his choice. And I am physically miles away from him, and the rest of my immediate family, fending for myself, trying to make things work on my own (which is a treat, and
Am I pleased that this has become a norm now? Even during small talk? No, not really. It’s sort of been my standard answer to questions like, “How are things?”, “How’s it going?”, “What’s up?”, and the one I dread the most : “How are you?”. Now, almost everyone else gives me the same answer : “I don’t know”. People closest to me or who I frequently speak to would get the occasional “Ehhh!?” with
(started drafting this on the 19th of July) I started hanging out with a new group of friends which I’ve all met through my smoking sessions (thank you, Ciggie Breaks!). It felt good to actually be (responsibly) out again, any window that would allow me to feel a bit of normalcy, I appreciate. We started pretty early, about 10 minutes past 6PM on a Thursday. We start to talk about work, and life, and life,
I made this two weeks before my Birthday. A video for me, by me (so it’s basically full of my face, and my icky voice-over, which I would like to apologize for). I’m celebrating all 33 (now 34) years of existence. All of it. So pardon the cheese! I mean, I’m sorry for making you cringe but I’m NOT sorry for NOT barfing at this! Just thought I’d yet again — bring out my authentic
(I’m bringing back “rambling posts”, because this is all I do here now.) I’m writing this in the dark. Well, almost. It’s sunset. The 25th of May, a lovely Monday, at 6:45PM, second stick of Cigarette within the hour, 30 minutes of dancing to Harry’s second record. Currently at Fine Line. Majestic. I binge-watched The Midnight Gospel at around 12:00AM today, and ugly cried at Episode 8. I loved the show so much that I
… things I already knew. When Mama died, my whole world shifted. A part of me died with her, and there is a void I will never be able to fill, ever. A cheesy as this sounds, that void served as a way for me to be … reborn. The Abbie that existed before her death has died. A piece of that old me will always be in here, somewhere. But I am never the
Let me tell you something : Nothing is scarier than being a sheltered person almost your entire life, and starting over in your 30s. Let me tell you another thing : It probably could not get any better than this. Of course that’s me trying to talk some optimism into my life (also, I believe in the power of manifestation / speaking things into existence), and I may be as SCARED AS FUCK right now,
I may be turning into your resident Angry Girl. Sun Sign Cancer, Moon and Rising Sign Aquarius, Venus in Leo, Mars in Capricorn. I shuffle between INFJ-T and INFP-T from time to time, depending on how the World treats me. Sorted into Ravenclaw in 2011. More? Fine, hand me the Microphone here.
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