I made this two weeks before my Birthday. A video for me, by me (so it’s basically full of my face, and my icky voice-over, which I would like to apologize for). I’m celebrating all 33 (now 34) years of existence. All of it. So pardon the cheese! I mean, I’m sorry for making you cringe but I’m NOT sorry for NOT barfing at this! Just thought I’d yet again — bring out my authentic
(I’m bringing back “rambling posts”, because this is all I do here now.) I’m writing this in the dark. Well, almost. It’s sunset. The 25th of May, a lovely Monday, at 6:45PM, second stick of Cigarette within the hour, 30 minutes of dancing to Harry’s second record. Currently at Fine Line. Majestic. I binge-watched The Midnight Gospel at around 12:00AM today, and ugly cried at Episode 8. I loved the show so much that I
… things I already knew. When Mama died, my whole world shifted. A part of me died with her, and there is a void I will never be able to fill, ever. A cheesy as this sounds, that void served as a way for me to be … reborn. The Abbie that existed before her death has died. A piece of that old me will always be in here, somewhere. But I am never the
Let me tell you something : Nothing is scarier than being a sheltered person almost your entire life, and starting over in your 30s. Let me tell you another thing : It probably could not get any better than this. Of course that’s me trying to talk some optimism into my life (also, I believe in the power of manifestation / speaking things into existence), and I may be as SCARED AS FUCK right now,
But the other day it had told me to “Take a leap before looking”, and I laughed at it, because that was exactly what I was doing. I’m sat at the balcony of my room at the Constance Ephelia, in … SEYCHELLES. Taking my first ever solo trip to quiet my mind. Well that’s a phrase I didn’t think I’d ever say, but here we are. Deep breaths. Deep breaths, Abbie. I’m not just turning
Heads up : This entry is all over the place! Bear with me. It was years ago when someone left a comment on my Tumblr asking, “Why do you always like to announce that you liked something ahead of everyone?”. I always thought it was because I wanted to prove to people (mostly to myself) that I wasn’t hopping on the hype train. In my thirties, it dawned on me that it was because I
I was asked by a friend sometime at the end of last year, during a very quick, but in-depth conversation regarding our lives : “Is this it for you? Wala ka nang goals?”, I kind of wondered what it meant exactly, it wasn’t demeaning (her tone definitely wasn’t), and it took me awhile to actually figure out the answer. We’re raised in a society where you’re expected to get your shit together after high school.