I don’t hate people. And it’s not that I don’t like being around the … okay that’s a lie. I generally don’t, but before you say anything, it’s … well, it’s just who I’ve become.
I didn’t really understand it then, you know? I’d think I was just being moody. I’d think it was just one of those days. I no longer felt the need to go out and I no longer felt the need to constantly meet new people.
At first I thought it was because of my depression (well, sometimes, it is), it didn’t really dawn on me that I was just evolving to be a full-on introvert (I used to be an Ambivert, see).
Oh man, Introverts are awesome. Throw me a Welcoming Party, you beautiful weirdos! I’m one of you!
When I go out, I stay in my circle, my small bubble. I try to avoid crowded areas (I mean, who likes crowded areas anyway). Some of my friends don’t mind them, but I get too sensitive about it. Then it would take a week or two (or more) before I step out to socialize again. It’s usually me and one other person. I can do three though.
Ugh, not like that, you perv.
I love my friends, no doubt. But I’ve drawn a very, very small circle around the people I really, really trust. I would hang out with one particular group of clowns (looking at you, JDC / Nof / Mark), and my very own Girl Group (my ABV chicas). Otherwise I prefer one person, two, and that’s it. I don’t blame it on anyone. It’s me and my ability (obviously lack thereof) to absorb all the energy around me. I’ve turned into my domesticated Cat. Which, isn’t really a bad thing, once you’ve met him.
Let me break it down for you, because I don’t know if it’s just the ones around me, or if most people STILL don’t know that we are real / are normal / are human / don’t eat dogs / are not serial killers :
Introverts are drained by social encounters and energized by solitary, often creative pursuits. Their disposition is frequently misconstrued as shyness, social phobia or even avoidant personality disorder, but many introverts socializeeasily; they just strongly prefer not to. In fact, the self-styled introvert can be more empathic and interpersonally connected than his or her outgoing counterparts. The line between introversion and lonely loners gets blurry, however, as some introverts do wish they could break out of their shell.
True though about the blurry line between Introversion and Lonely Loners. Sigh of relief and a round of applause for the ones who have gotten past the “Irregardless, we are Sadliness” phase (WUP WUP, TMP REFERENCE). That’s a whole ‘notha topic for another time.
Of course I have to include something from Wikipedia because I want to do this right. HRHRHR. No but seriously, I have a feeling that you don’t understand, let me quote this part, at least :
Introversion is “the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one’s own mental life”. Introverts are typically more reserved or reflective. Introverts often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, using computers, hiking and fishing. The archetypal Artist, Writer, Sculptor, Engineer, Composer and Inventor are all highly introverted. An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people, though he or she may enjoy interactions with close friends. Trust is usually an issue of significance: a virtue of utmost importance to introverts is choosing a worthycompanion. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate, especially observed in developing children and adolescents. They are more analytical before speaking. Introverts are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings and engagement, introversion having even been defined by some in terms of a preference for a quiet, more minimally stimulating external environment. Mistaking introversion for shyness is a common error. Introverts prefer solitary to social activities, but do not necessarily fear social encounters like shy people do.
I could go on and on, but this a pretty good picture of what we’re like, FYI. New York Magazine published a very inneresting article, related to Susan Cain’s book titled Quiet, obviously an ode to our appealing characteristic. I’ve been reading a handful of articles this week and have seen Susan Cain’s name appear on almost every page and I cannot wait for us to establish a friendship while in the comfort of our own homes.
This TED Talk is amaze, and I am 3 years behind.
Also, hold up, hold up – apparently, there is a new (but not new-new) study by Jonathan Cheek claiming that there are FOUR SIDES of Introversion. And of course, it came with a quiz and this is what I got :
When I took the MBTI Test, I was an INFP. About a year later (less, I think), I retook the test and turned out to be an INFJ-T convert. I know not a lot of people take this seriously, but I do – because it made me understand myself more.
Anyway, what I’m really saying is – it concerns me that we’re not portrayed by Society very well. Although there is a line to be drawn, most people forget us – the ones who ended up as Introverts and are absolutely and completely fine with it. So maybe some of us are awkward – but we are who we are. It would be nice not be branded as “Weird” for wanting to stay home, or “Depressed” for wanting to keep to ourselves. And yes, there are times when we ARE actually depressed and prefer to keep to ourselves, but on the reg, staying in doesn’t translate to “I need help“. And again, sure – you do have the right to be concerned. But you should also try to balance out your paranoia / assumptions when it comes to us. We’re fine, really. You have to accept the fact that not everyone is as excited with the idea of going out and being around people (as you are). Some of us define partying as “Staying in, dressed in our jammies, sharing a tub of Gelato while watching Vikings, see how my rhyme is, you can’t kick it like this…“, I mean (my rap’s dope, bet you wanna eat some Cantaloupe)… Okay, give me a minute. I’m cracking me up.
So yes, that’s just how things are. And that’s how I am … now. It really is a beautiful, beautiful thing to discover and accept.
And you know what, I know I often say stuff about living in this era / generation because we get so many things backwards, but God bless the Internet : I found SANCTUARY. Check out Susan Cain’s Quiet Revolution. Ma-BFF na nga ‘tong si Girl.
And Susan Cain’s Blog. God bless her.
I hope with the many resources available to mankind, parents of this generation now know that there’s nothing wrong if your Children prefer books over social interaction. Sure, at one point you’d have to balance that out by making them hang out with their friends and stuff – but don’t push your kid too hard. And don’t ever make them feel that it’s wrong to be the way they are, or that they’re wired wrong. After all, we must teach Children that the first, and supposedly most important friendship they should establish is with themselves. The rest should just be the icing on the cake – it’s important, but what use is the icing when the cake isn’t even good enough / whole / baked well.
I love you, fellow Introverts. One day the world will no longer look at us as “Introverts”, one day we will be undressed of these quotation marks, and we will simply be – Introverts. Accepted, Loved, Understood.
And no longer forced to Adult in the presence of other Human Beings.
Yeah, I know you got my point two paragraphs ago.