It was a decent house, surrounded by trees. It was white and made of Wood, had several floors – maybe two.
Everyone else was leaving, I was watching their silhouettes dance around in the forest next to the Porch – all, except for you, slouched on the floor, bag in hand. I smiled after finding you, but I already knew where you were. I mean, my heart did. I half-closed the door, knelt down next to you, and leaned in for a kiss. You turned the other way, evading me completely. I froze, still pouting. “Just one“, I said. “Not now“, was your response, to which you continued with “It’s not the right time“. Deep down I knew it was a risk to be taken. I didn’t expect much, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It hurt like hell.
Outside, your Cousin stood still, I was quite unsure if he was watching us from the reflection on the cabinet mirror opposite the door. I walk past him anyway, pretending that nothing happened, asking him if he had everything he needed.
And then I woke up.
Feeling rejected in real life.
Then I’m rejected in a dream.
Just when I thought the Sandman and I were already good friends.
Then again, that’s how we started, right? Before you royally screwed me over.
Before I let you. Before I let me. Before I let us.
Before we savored every second of it.
Can you not leave me like this?
Usually I would mention this – about having a dream, or a bad dream, and you were always the first one to ask.
I’m answering a question that isn’t even being asked.
I get by, pretending it is.
Hopefully one day I won’ t have to.
Hopefully one day you will.